Music

House of the Rising Sun. The Animals. One of my favorite songs, ever. It's truly amazing what one song can do for your mood. And being the moody fuck that I am, I'm very grateful to be listening to this right now. If just one song can drastically change a person's mood, I wonder what else the human brain is capable of. Psychology major here I come.

Sundays.

Sunday is the most difficult day of the week for me. After going out on Friday and Saturday nights, my body aches, my mind is blank, and all I want to do is eat chipotle and watch tv. However, being the procrastinator that I am, I usually leave all my work for Sunday. Big mistake. I'm not in the right mindset to be focusing on anything other than the food in front of my face or the bright, colored images on a television. Not to mention the fact that I sleep until at least 1 or 2 o'clock in the afternoon, and then spend another hour or so trying to get my sluggish body into the shower. So, that leaves me approximately eight hours of time to do homework. Now, that may sound like a lot of time, but it isn't. I somehow manage to put off my work so that I'm never done until midnight. Discipline, anyone?

Why is it still cold?

I need warmth. I thought that I'd be able to manage the weather up here in beautiful Saratoga Springs, but I was wrong. I can slowly feel all the heat draining out of me; all I'm asking for is shorts and t-shit weather! I want to stroll around in my incredibly comfortable reef flip flops and wear uncharacteristically baggy cargo shorts! Fuck! A little sunshine wouldn't hurt, either. It's been so gray around here that after a while I'm gonna wake up in the morning, look out the window and think to myself, "this is the day I'm gonna slit my wrists to see color."

Bad Mood

How do you cure a bad mood? For me, the answer is surprising and surprisingly simple: do homework. Yes, it may seem impossible, but it is true. For me, the only way to truly rid myself of a bad mood is to do my school work. Allow me to explain further. I need to occupy my mind with meaningless, irrelevant information, so that I can't focus on all the bad thoughts and feelings swimming around in my head. When I'm in a bad mood, I usually have thoughts of an insidious nature which only worsen my condition. Every thought is negative in nature; it becomes a rather vicious cycle in which nothing positive is ever created. So, how do I fix such a dilemma? I shove a raccoon into the proverbial turbines that are my mind. I literally force myself to focus on boring things, so that the bad thoughts simply vanish. I find it strange, yet completely logical and practical.

Because I just stupidly (and accidentally) deleted the last Carlin post.

Lawl Cats

I almost forgot how much I enjoy these.

So about ten minutes ago, I was sitting at my desk, trying to find ways to procrastinate, as usual. I decided to open up my blog and read it over. I was not content, to say the least. What on earth compelled me to complain about my life? Life is good! I am privileged enough to go to an excellent liberal arts school, I have great friends, and I'm doing well academically. Talk about seeing things in retrospect, eh?

Grrr! Time to Vent.

Doesn't anyone ever get tired of partying? Doesn't anyone ever notice that most people (roughly ages 15 and onward) do the same exact thing every weekend? My life has been fairly regimented since the beginning of high school. It goes as follows: work during the week and then get drunk on the weekend. But not just drunk, totally smashed would be the more accurate description. And it never seems to get old. I've personally been sick of this routine since the middle of high school, yet the drive to party continues to hold strong in most college students. And there's truly no escaping it. I can say from experience that all of my friends still love to get "absolutely twisted" (as one of them would say), which traps me into this unhealthy pattern as well. The only alternative to this lifestyle becomes, sadly, staying in by yourself. Which, according to the invisible yet almighty social laws set forth by my peers, is considered sheer blasphemy. Choosing sobriety, sadly, now has the potential to kill your social life. Even if you manage to find friends who share the same desire to avoid substances, even for just one weekend, then your sex life too may dwindle. Unless you're in some sort of relationship, there aren't many opportunities to hook-up whilst sober. And I'm not saying I don't enjoy getting drunk or the random hook-up; I frequently partake in both activities. I just want to live a life of moderation so I don't lose all my creativity or personality.

Well, I'm not feeling particularly creative at the moment.

I'm sitting here, in Blogging class, trying to post my first blog. Seems like a lot of pressure. What could I possibly post that would interest anyone? It must be something catchy, yet wholly original. What a conundrum. What hasn't already been said? Should I talk about life? Should I post something uplifting and motivational, so that the next person who reads this feels great about himself? Everyone around me seems to be doing something productive. None of them are looking up from their screens. Shit, I'm falling behind. STILL NOTHING, GOD. Well, I guess I've noticed that creativity cannot be forced. I'm forcing myself to write and getting nowhere. But if creativity has to come naturally, how does one jumpstart that primary sensation of inspiration? Where does that really come from? A hot shower? A good night's sleep? A well balanced diet? Good sex? Occasional substance abuse? Regular substance abuse?